Who are We? Where are we going?

P.S. - I don’t know philosophy.

I shall be turning 25 and the world still amazes me. Well, the amazement lies neither in the underwater fauna nor some outer-world asteroids. It rests in basic things that human beings do. The way people decide, prioritize and act. The reader here might be a 17 year old high school graduate waiting for his results or a 31 year old boy/girl waiting to get married. The sample may also include a 48 year old cashier sitting in his office or a 24 year old girl who recently married somebody she never knew.

If we could know who are we?

Who are we?

I still look avenues beyond truth and capability in finding myself. I failed. The question haunts me like a somnambulist who haunts his own peaceful nights in oblivion. Most of us don’t know what we were meant to be in this world. We were born and that followed a list of random tasks that dented us into what others wanted us to be. Hard Fact. So, who are we? Are we the ones who run after money and keep wasting our best years of time? Or, the ones who are ready to die to go viral on the social network? Or, the ones who carry their family bastion and roll the family silver in grass and hash? Or, the regular managers who give their subordinates their peace of mind? Or, the naive job-seeker who did everything that the world spelt correct to get employed? Or, an individual caged in an iconic buildings waiting for attention? Or, an upcoming artist (photographer, writer, band-member etc) waiting for the big break? AND, the ones who are still in the journey to know who are we?

It may be a boring set of questions and there may be a striking chance that it would not have covered all samples of personalities or would have matched the reader’s current situation. But the answer to all the questions is same and unknown. 

The tryst between existence and purpose remains unattended unsolved and gets complicated as times pass, days go and years change.

Are we heading anywhere?

Where are we going?

Today, we live in a world of jobless growth and unprecedented polarity. The 80-20 rule is now no more applicable when I talk about the financial polarity. By now we don’t know our identity so it is difficult to say where we would be heading to. But as human beings we are well known among ourselves to figure out the solutions to problems of unimaginable complexity. The television sets keep on flashing so called ‘News’ depicting money laundering, corruption, rapes, success stories (rarely), murder stories and so on. For regular people like most of us, it gives a view to the daily course of events happening around or with us. So are we going in the direction of a humane less future? This isn't being negative in any aspects, rather it is being practical in all aspects. And lets not forget the vices that the media misses to report. The daily pressures that we meet in our lives related to success, work, marriage, money and sustenance. This makes me feel like a blind traveler hoping to feel the breeze that blows around the Seven Wonders of the World.

So, Who are we AND Where are we going?

Are we The Angry Birds?

They say there is a thin line between existence and living. We might not be knowing our identity and our reason to exist but we know one thing in our lives better than what others tell us. We very well know that what we are doing! And if most of the things we do doesn't make us happy. It gets us money though that helps us doing some of the stuff that creates an illusionary happiness. 

The ways to be successful and the ways to be satisfied never meet and everyday we tend to drift from the latter.

What are we doing?

We are all searching things that make us happy. We try to make ourselves available around people and places that we think can make us happier - knowingly or unknowingly. And in this quest, we tend to lose the major chunk of time that result in unhappiness. Strange and True. We tend to keep items of materialistic values like gadgets, cosmetic items, and travel badges and so on around us to keep that illusionary happiness alive. I often see people doing secretive stuff that may range from keeping hobbies to scoring flings. Secrets keep us grounded. But still the question stands tall. We actually don’t know what are we doing and tend to do stuff that majority of human looking creatures around us do. Some tend to go a step further when they lose their integrity and intellect while coping with ‘people’ around them. 

Most of the times we keep ourselves busy in filling the gaps of the past. The gaps may be enlisted as a failed relationship, a broken dream or a mounting loan (for car, degrees etc.) 

We all are now turning into instruments of searching things that make us stand out from the others. In due course of events, we are losing wisdom to the search engines available and tend to believe them as messengers of God (whose existence is still doubted).

I read a book titled ‘Into the Wild’ by Jon Krakauer. It is a story about a boy who tries to know the reason behind his existence and dies in the end. Many of you might have read the book or would have watched the movie. Try and get connected with your own selves instead of getting connected with the whole world on the go...!

“If we admit that human life can be ruled by reason, then all possibility of life is destroyed"

- Into the Wild, Jon Krakaeur.

 Amit Purohit
 The Lone Soldier
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The Haddi Mode

2013 : Let me Lead...!

Many of us believed and thought that 2012 was one of the longest and toughest years in their lives. Some of us even took life changing decisions in the year and realized the ways to the real journey beyond the meadows and against the tides. Some of my friends were shattered in the first 10 days of the New Year and thought the 2012 cataclysm hasn’t deserted their lives.

Let’s stop winding the clocks back and ring in the New Year with some fresh pieces of music and few liters of wine.

So, the next question gets fired: ‘Huh! What is it that you got new?’

I don’t have anything new but I would like to share with you an inside story about people management in the leading institutions and industries in my country and abroad.

It is going the ‘Haddi’ (Read: Bone) way.  

The Haddi Fight

Recently, one of my close friends and advisor to life decisions was boarding an overseas flight to his work place. Every Business Unit Leader wants him to be the lead in his team. In interesting course of events, he coined this term when I asked so what does the Big Boss (Business Head) wants you to do?

And he said nobody knows what is to be done. But everyone wants the Haddi. And I was startled and said him to repeat the lexicon. Then he said in some clearer diction. HADDI He said everyone wants him in their team but no one bothers what and where the ‘Haddi’ wishes to go. We shared a good laugh and then the flight untwined its wings and kissed the clouds to the deserts of dates where oil is cheaper than milk…!

The Haddi and the Boss

Every working guy is like a Haddi today. The top administrators wish to have a multi-toothed gear with them who can shift numbers as the terrain changes. It is same as now an engineer (or an accountant) and then a logistics guy; Now a researcher and then a procurement guy. Every second organization including the art Industry is hunting Haddi. He sings well may even act, so take him on board. Here is a B.Tech with an MBA, take him board; may solve some shop floor problems.

So, when people come to me with their logic saying Multi-tasking is the new thing on the dash board, I smirk and say, “Do hell with the domain expertise and let the fire clouds from the oil tankers of some oil company shake hands with the clouds in the skies!!!”

Let’s come out of our offices and observe the Haddi thing in some personal arena. Your own sibling or you would be the haddi of the family if you or he/she is successful and single. Every aunt, neighbor or some distant relative would come to you with marriage, business or even career proposals and would like to get the haddi on their platter and precisely in the same order…

If you are not contended with whatever state of affairs you are onto and someone is coming for you and trying to pull you in his/her business, just smile and activate the Haddi Mode in your life…!

Sing aloud and join me:

Ek rang guniyo ka nirala,

Ek rang agyani...

Rang Rang me Hod Lagi hai,

Rang Rangi Manmani…

(Song : Des Mera Rangreziya Babu, Peepli Live, Composer : Indian Ocean)

Amit Purohit

The Lone Soldier

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'Calls' To The Dark Knight

I watched ‘The Dark Knight’ last year and waited for ‘The Dark Knight Rises’ as I heard of some news about Mr. Nolan creating the end of the trilogy. Trailing by Trailers, I waited with abated breath for ‘The Rise’. The only reason was: ‘In Nolan I believed’. Moreover, I was captivated with the soundtrack by Hans Zimmer and almost listened to it more than five times a day to get the feel of the end of the legend.

But as it goes with my life, something circus like thing happened on the day when the film rose to the theatres and I made a nasty run just to be in time. Story Time:

19^th July 2012 (The Day before ‘The Rise’)

I wanted to make sure that I watch the movie in English as soon as I let myself out of my office. I thronged almost 4 multiplexes near to my office with one of my friends Nitin but in vain. Everywhere the movie was to be released in Hindi and I never wished to see the legend speaking some vernacular. I asked Nitin to book tickets online. We succeeded and got the best seats – third from the last row to watch the spectacle. Time: 6:20 pm.

20^th July 2012 (The Day of ‘The Rise’)

5:15 pm.

I called Nitin and he said that he was stuck somewhere and I needed to go alone. I didn’t know the ways to the multiplex and I knew I needed someone as crazy as me for ‘The Rise’. There were gangs of friends around me not getting the tickets while I had one extra ticket with me – The Golden Ticket.

5 Minutes later…

I started making random calls to lots of people around in panic just to accompany me to the end of the trilogy and read along what happened:

Call 1: My Colleague – I approached my colleague and begged her to watch the movie with me. I failed. She had her own reasons and couldn’t be ignored though.

Suddenly, I started figuring out people in my phone book and their degrees of availability at the time.

Call2: My Ex-Room mate:  He had been living in his home since 9 months by now and had been ready for every party or gathering we planned for, even at the shortest notice. But the little mouse already had his cheese booked this time and that too late in the night.

Call3: My Old School friend: I knew she was engaged. But let me try and call her and ask whether she would be company. These were my thoughts when I banged her number. I knew she was all oblivious about the trilogy but she was a good friend though. She too had her own reasons of office and life.

My hairs were on fire now. I just started making some random calls again.

Call4: My Random Friend: We had just met out of coincidence. She wanted some ideas over some event and we had a discussion. I dialed her. She was in a hospital. Her father was going to be under the knife for some treatment. I was sorry. She was sorry. And then my patience spilled up.

25 Minutes Later…

5:45 pm.

I was now running nuts. I didn’t know the place and I was made to watch the movie alone. Holy Shit. My colleague shouted at me and asked me to start my ride to 15 km across the city to reach the theatre in time. It was excruciating to know that nobody wanted the golden ticket.

Call5: My Junior: I called one of my juniors and as the phone rang I made my mind to hit him hard in the face if he denied. No prizes for guessing here. He said he was stuck with his bike somewhere in the middle of the city and I am going to hit him in the face when I meet him.

Call6: My Facebook Friend: I called one of my ‘facebook’ friends. I met her online. She was far away from my age group but still managed to say ‘No’. I thought I could convince her but they say family and children make you more responsible than an empty bag with some books and dreams in it.

Call7: My Recent Friend: Now, this was the weirdest call of my life. I had never called her. We met recently.  And to the top of it, she lived around 30 km away from the theatre and it was exactly 30 minutes before ‘The Rise’. And to the least of my surprises in my life, she denied.

Call8: I now called to one of my best friends. I was positive. The other minute shattered my hopes. I heard a ‘beep’. She ‘rejected’ my call.

5:55 pm

It was now my colleague’s turn to go nuts when she saw me behaving like an answering machine and requesting others for the golden ticket. She just banged the head guard onto my hands and asked me to leave. Now, I never had the Batman bike that can cross the Gotham city in minutes. Still I rode at a speed of around 70 kmph and guess what. I crossed two more bridges i.e. around 3 more kms in extra to the place where I was supposed to reach.

6:15 pm

5 more minutes…

I was standing at the traffic signal and asked some one where the theatre was. He explained me and I rode the horse like my bum on fire. I reached the theatre at 6:25 pm. I hated it to start late. And to my surprise the show was 20 minutes late. I made my way to the screen and saw a great looking girl with one of her friends. I hoped she was sitting right to me. And every time you hope that you find a pop corn monger kid or a coke sipping aunt piercing your ears…! I bought some popcorn and made myself comfortable on the couch. I heard a voice hitting the left of my ear. She was around 43 requesting me to shift a row behind for her son to accommodate. I was happy to do that as that brought me to the second last row of the theatre.

3 Minutes Later…

The movie started and I heard a girl screaming. She was the one whom I saw in the room outside the screen, sitting next to me. I screamed too…! She asked me whether I was alone and I replied, “It’s a funny story and maybe I would weave a blog out of it…!”

P.S. Something about ‘The Rise’:

The story is about fear and hope, rise and revolt. The best scene in the movie was the one when the protagonist climbed out of the mercenary without the rope.

Joker, we shall all keep missing you all the time…!

Amit Purohit

The Lone Soldier

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The Parallel Lines

Recently I had a chance to spend most of my day’s time with some of the most energetic minds and souls of the country at some engineering college. My life was uncertain like a ship without the rudder left alone amidst sea storms in the middle of an ocean at the whim of the waves. But the energy showed by the people around me kept me driving.

After re-orienting my life to some other goal, I came across lots of people of my age making money, travelling around the world and getting everything I deemed of.  I at my own switched off the supply of money to my life and halved it with lots of uncertainty as an additive interest. There were moments which pierced me deep and hard; made me think to push the reverse button of my life. I revolted. It had been a couple of times I had been treading the same path and watching the power struggle between satisfaction and delight.

I think I have blown enough of my trumpet and thrown some personal metaphors around. Story Time…

The Parallel Lines: : Satisfaction and Delight:

I was passing through a road that was under construction. There was a group of workers pushing hard for their daily wages. They were in an abject state of poverty and working in a highly unsafe environment. I ordered tea and sat on the ‘tapri table’ near to them. Suddenly I heard a child’s cry, who was sleeping in a ‘make-shift’ arranged swing near the road roller. His mother threw the basket containing aggregates and cuddled him, but in vain.

10 Minutes later…

I saw one of the male workers rushing to the nearest ice-cream parlor and buying a chocolate bar worth Rs.10/- The child was over the moon. It was ‘Delight’ for him and his parents saw the scene dipped in ‘Satisfaction’. A ten rupee note bought delight and satisfaction and made the parallel lines intersect.

However these things are least evident or applicable in so called ‘corporate’ life we live in. Most of my friends working in some of the leading MNCs crib about money, job location, job profile, job culture and even loneliness.  I used to crib about my job profile and now I crib over money and uncertainty. Parallel Lines.

 But there are some moments when and where these parallel lines intersect. Rare though. Some of them are: a boy reciting his deceased father’s poetry, an old priest offering his first prayers, a young girl making some street child write ABC, a young boy giving his first salary to his mother and lots more around you, with you…!

Lastly, one of my life’s moments when the parallel lines meet is the time when I write something, share and ‘You’ smile at the end after reading it. We live in a weird and wonderful world. Isn’t it?

It’s about to rain. Now listening to a track from 21^st Century Breakdown by GreenDay:

Hey Gloria, are you standing close to the edge?

Look out to the setting sun, the brink of your vision...

Eternal youth is a landscape of a lie

The cracks of my skin can prove, as the years will testify...

Amit Purohit 

The Lone Soldier

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The Lost Child

I always feel I am doing nothing on this planet except growing old whenever my birthday is around the corner. Every birthday I promise myself that I shall find the reason to live or the reason to write a book. The former never gets formulated and the latter keeps on dealing with the subject matter.

Carefree Childhood days

So I decided to travel to places to remember what I was made of and visited the people who crafted a man out of a toddler. This led me to Udaipur, my birth place. The city of lakes that taught me change is inevitable and it kills if you don’t accept it in life. The second stop was my kindergarten that taught me the faller is destined to succeed. The third was my college which once taught me love and success can go in hand.  And out of everything I grounded one fact: Needless to say, the fact bearer told me all life what I have spent was in vain as I had been running after things that my parents, teachers and some of my friends asked me to chase for.

I still remember the days of my childhood when jalebi was sweeter and reminded me of the advertisement wherein a boy is convinced to return to his home when he was promised ‘jalebi’. I was so care free and ready to tell people what I knew forgetting the fact how much they know or what they wished to know.

My favorite color was the one that my English teacher wore and it changed around four times in a week.

There were no paychecks but the two rupee note and a ‘Poppins’ in my hand made me felt like a king.

The time when Batman and Spiderman looked great on paper rather than making me wait for the sequels that come every season to bore.

There were no mobile phones and my parents knew wherever I would be in this world I would return in a ‘single piece’ with my bicycle by 7 pm in the evening.

There was no Google still I knew what to search for and where the answers were hidden.

I had smiling faces around me not a book of faces saying where they are spending their honeymoons or which college they are studying in…!!!

I had a pencil and a rubber that lasted for a week and now I never see my pencil’s final notch sharpened up or changing my roller pen’s refill.

There were sparrows and squirrels I used to run after and spent my time watching clouds changing their shapes from elephants to horses.

The crayons that colored my life and made it look vibrant not the blunt bank’s SMS in my smart phone saying about my purchases and meager bank balance.

 I had love and the only thing that broke my heart was the moment when she said to me that her frock is brighter than my pants.

I never had the feeling of losing somebody or something except my new compass that I got free with ‘Bournvita’.

The months when I waited for the school to reopen and wished to see her with a new water bottle rather than the appraisals that I now carve and crib for.

Let me tell you a true story. When I was in 4^th grade we had a surprise drawing exam. And it really ‘surprised’ me. The teacher told us to draw a free hand sketch and the white sheets that looked like dinner table napkins came to my bench. I read the words ‘free’ and ‘hand’ and traced my hand on the sheet, colored it with the color of the skin and wrote in the centre ‘Free Hand’ and left the class room within 15 minutes. The teacher laughed and I got a ‘D’. But the lesson learnt was my shelling out what I knew.

I failed the Ph.D interview at some IIT last fortnight. After passing 3 rounds, I feared to express what I knew in the interview. And once again life placed me on the crossroads that say where to go with a lot of sign boards luring me to them.

Closing my eyes, remembering what ‘Into the Wild’ meant and now finding a reason to live because this life can’t be a reason to die.

Now Listening:

Wo Kagaaz Ki Kashti;  Wo Baarish Ka Paani…

The reason why my calendar days pass is a mystery and I am on the way to my answers…!!!

Amit Purohit

The Lone Soldier

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The Cuckoo Behind The Kolaveri...

12^th Apr, 2012

3:35 pm, Somewhere On Earth.

Very few of my friends have heard the song ‘Guncha’ by Mohit Chauhan. Guncha means a young flower. The most fascinating lines of the song go like this:

“Subh ko teri Zulf ne sham kar dia,

Guncha koi mere naam kar dia…!’’

                And I dipped into my favorite arena where my pen did the talking. Pondering over the thought of writing a book woven with words around women, I felt I had now walked the talk with enough women in my life and their depiction of emotions. I was wrong, point blank.

                Allow me to tell you an open ended story of a girl I met and was startled.

                She was 26, MBA. She had a CAT percentile I could dream of and a persona I was jealous of. She landed and ditched one of the finest corporate jobs which people like me deem of. But things weren’t rosy as I thought of.

                She was working for nuts but for a cause by means of which she drove her life. And when inquired about why the ‘fish’ she worked for nuts; she smiled with an uncertainty at the back drop of her cerebellum. Being the ‘local’ Sherlock by nature, I was curious with some questions and the day occurred when the sun rose and her answers came searching my questions.

                And like any other Cindrella, the story stalked and sauntered around marriage – the lexis behind her uncertain smile she showcased, sitting near to the beautiful coffee cups she was fond of. Scores of questions rambled her mind about ‘the one’ and started driving her life. And I was surprised again…

                This time, I was surprised by the feminine psychology of considering ‘the one’ as the center of her earth. I watched her about and by now almost a 24-hour office day stamping documents with a smile incomplete in its own sense. The smile that carried pain of a broken song or the panicky of her parent’s toil of finding ‘the one’. For ‘the one’ and with the uncertainties tied to him she worked for nuts instead of diamonds.

                What was more! Adding more struggle to the smile was the debris of a musical dream that never shaped out of her parental pressure. As this ink flows on this paper and turns into blatant hieroglyphics; a day passes in the life of an individual getting the pangs of being alone and clearing the misty air of not so certain things tied with and for a stranger.

                A dream stifled like a soda bottle welded with the cork. Blueprints of a business, a career remains on paper in her minds; somewhere buried. I had never thought of weaving my life and its winged dreams for anyone. And she was living it, staking and sauntering her gold clad MBA for the unknown waiting, hoping to meet the next door.

When I see her I think of a flower vase with dried roses yet fresh leaves…!

When I see her I think of someone breathing for clouds that change shapes daily…!

I hear a sunken song that was never written; but a singer composed it for life…!

“Aankho ke jazeero ko tere naam kar dia,

Guncha koi mere naam kar dia…!’’

Amit Purohit

The Lone Soldier

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